So, 2021 decided to throw a wild party and forgot to invite happiness. Heartbreaker did another 180, but somehow managed to land on the “not-so-great” side. Finances played the ultimate rollercoaster game, our relationship with the boyfriend was like a Wi-Fi signal—on and off—and we had to move. Again.

After a decade of paying a glorified yard sale fee ($900 a month) for a rental that never increased (shoutout to our chill landlord), our friend heroically rented the place in their name because bankruptcy was my middle name back then. Bless that friend, because the apartment upstairs was a noise nightmare. Imagine toddlers hosting a 2 AM furniture assembly party while Heartbreaker was off working in the Philippines. Their kids decided to practice their circus act by dangling stuff out the window onto ours. Heartbreaker had to play the “Hey, what the heck?” card, and even CPS showed up for a cameo. Spoiler alert: it didn’t help. I moved us out two months early, paying double rent because silence was worth it. We even escaped to a hotel one night just to remember what peace sounded like. Never! Again! Apartments!

Then, cue the big move after ten years to a “better” house. The house was great, Heartbreaker? Not so much. He snagged a job paying double but kept the side hustle, because our rent jumped from $900 to $1850. Fancy! We landed in a Cul de sac paradise with a garage, long driveway, and four bedrooms. But carpet. Ugh. Carpet is the enemy, and I had to endure it.

Later that year, the job disappeared faster than my patience. Heartbreaker turned into Weekend Drunk Extraordinaire, making us all want to disappear. I took a little trip to see “someone” (who was definitely not the boyfriend, surprise!) because money was tight and communication was tighter. Came back with cash and fancy whiskey to smooth things over. Drunken Heartbreaker eyeballed me and said, “Regina, I don’t give a fuck about what you do, I don’t love you like that.” Ouch. Those words? Burned in my brain forever. And trust me, that was just the opening act.